I hate my body. I realized this today (on Thanksgiving). I hate that it doesn’t look like I want it to, that it holds more weight than it needs to, that it can’t run as fast as I can and I have to wait for it to breathe and take breaks going uphill sometimes. I hate that it can’t yet go where I want to be (sometimes I go there without it). Sometimes I even stay out and let it do its human thing without me. That’s sort of counter-productive…
I realized this on my run on Thanksgiving.
I don’t actually hate my body–I hate being in one. If the body I was in was different, I’d still hate it. But not all the time. In fact, rarely do I hate it. Most of the time I’m so joyously loving being here on Earth that it feels like I’ve had a body forever and always will.
But those moments. Ah, what do you do in those moments?
Run harder, for starters. Then get home and let out some candid thoughts to your guides (who are clearly not in human bodies, and that’s freaking annoying), and then carry on.
Sometime in the near-ish future remember to be grateful to have this human-body experience because without it, I wouldn’t have the joy of not being in a body when it’s time to let this one go. And since I have it only for a relatively super-short time, I might as well love it. The fake it til you make it principle sounds good. I’ll do everything I can out of love for this amazing piece of artsy-sciency-art that I have embodied for a bit. Hate can’t live in the presence of Love. So. . . time to switch. . . in patience, and in love~~
This has become a mantra of sorts for me, reminding me to let the ideas come, let them flow, let me feel into them and be with them and maybe even act upon them… but not to worry about timing or results. Surrender all of that to what is, and let things manifest in the spaces between the doing and the resting.
So, don’t wait! And, there’s no rush. Remember to take savasana in your life. It’s imperative.
First, I’ve updated my home page with a new video on the course: Graceful Transformations – on Money, which is starting October 28th. If you’re committed to having your abundance consciousnessactually manifest abundance (i.e. money) in your life, then this small group, 6-week course is for you! Just a few spots left, and early bird discount ends October 22nd ~~ check it out HERE.
We hear that nothing can benefit everyone–that someone, somewhere, somehow will be diminished for something good done for someone else.
At this point, you could picture me with my brow a bit furrowed and my eyes a little squinty and one side of my lips curled up a bit, with my mind in a state of utter confusion because my heart is saying, “What the love, why not?”
If we intend that our thoughts, words and actions are for the highest and best, sometime this world is going to catch up, and we’ll all realize that we all benefit from good things, and we’ll stop saying it isn’t true. . . maybe it’s a matter of definition. Good for ego isn’t necessarily good for Self. But as our egos align with our Selves, then what’s good for One really is good for All.
It’s interesting to feel what my body is going through. I just received an email from AIM (Ashland Institute of Massage) with the schedule of my classes starting January 2nd.
I didn’t come to Ashland for school, I didn’t come to Ashland to teach a lot of yoga, I didn’t come to Ashland to sing… but it’s all happening. It has all been so expansive. I LOVE it all.
My body feels calmly excited. I don’t know how that works, but that’s what it feels like… A little fluttery in the tummy but so peaceful about it. I’m enjoying the experience of anticipation, enthusiasm, maybe a bit of apprehension… so much is unknown, but I’ve learned that you never really know. This “not really knowing” has become quite comfortable.
Continuously we learn. Continuously life beckons us to let go ~ yet hold on to something… to love, to trust, to knowing that you never really know–so allow life to unfold in the beautiful way it is meant to without getting caught up in trying to figure it all out.
Everything rose up and exploded like a big huge firework, and lots of what we don’t need burned up (though we felt the burn, right?!) while the rest is slowly but surely floating back down into the places where it will best serve the highest good.
It’s kind of like this whole experience was a puzzle showing a particular picture, but that picture doesn’t make any sense anymore so it just had to up and explode. Now the pieces that are left (and there are fewer because the rest was baggage we don’t need anymore) are coming together to create a newer, much more beautiful picture.
If you’ve been feeling like things are exploding all around you, you’re not alone. And when we make it through the chaos, we realize all the beauty that has been there all along.
~~Everything comes together, even as the world is falling apart~~ <–from ‘Opportunities Abound.’ sometime i’ll record it for ya.
Sometimes I see a bumper sticker around town. It says, “How can I keep from singing?”
I agree. I wouldn’t always have agreed, but in these last few months a sequence of events has taken place that has gently shoved me into being, more and more, who I truly am. Little did I know this meant that I sing. I sing a lot. I play my guitar, listen to the messages within the silence…and sing.
Something about life makes me think and feel that flowing into that is what it’s all about. Maybe for you it’s not singing. But if you had a bumper sticker, “How can I keep from __________?” what would it say?
Fill some time with that. Your life will become more and more beautiful.
Last week I was driving home from Medford and I glanced at my speedometer. 79.
I don’t think my car has ever experienced that speed. (It was in a 60 mph zone, too!)
I also noticed in the city of Ashland, where the limit is 20 or 25 depending on where you are, I was moving at a speed closer to 35 or even 40 at times!
My car (well, technically my driving) was telling me, “Hey! You’re moving too fast!” My life had become this completely insane whirl-wind of activity, action, motion… commotion. I kept saying yes to everything because everything was so much fun! I wanted to do it all; I knew I could do it all! All these things!
On the plus side, I’ve been blessed to teach a lot of yoga this month, which is truly a gift and reminds me to slow down and remember inner stillness amidst any outer chaos. This is a good thing. I’m quite sure that if something wasn’t keeping me in check, I’d still be speeding now and one of these days I’d receive a ticket. I’d rather allow myDharma to bring me back to center than the inevitable Karma I was for a few days creating.
Ah… I now rest into what has become a space–a space between the notes–if I can relax and surrender to this space, magic is inevitable.
I just updated my home page to say something like… “This website is in re-Creation mode. Thank you for your patience through this shift.”
If you were to wander through the etheric realm we call the internet and stumble upon this page, with those words, how would you feel about it? Would you complain? Would you proclaim, “What! Why shouldI have to be patient? This website should be finished or it shouldn’t be up and running!”
My good feeling is no, you wouldn’t have that much difficulty understanding that this website is in progress.
So my question is this, and I ask not only you but myself as well:
Why do we talk about ourselves like that?
It’s like we don’t have the time or energy to be in the process of moving toward the destination; we should just be at the destination. But we never get to the “destination!” We are never “finished!” The only real solution to this perceived dilemma is to remember that we are the destination, our process of progress is the destination. Otherwise we’re too busy worrying about getting to the finish line to get up and actually make our way there.